there are days when painting is a divine call
and days when i paint to assert myself
either it is between me and god or between me and I
painting keeps me away from people
and i sing
artist-artist-artist
find your way to people
! ! !

unshared part of me
is catching up with me
like shadow that i cannot cast away
when i invite my friend
to share time with me
unshared part of me i try to shed
but it is oozing
and i am using pretense
and loosing myself and choosing
to be what friend may see in me
unshared part is indivisible
it makes me individual
while pooling me apart
unshared part of me
may grow more than me
the greater part of me
it's greater than the whole
and all i have in me is growing ballistic
and wants to blast and kill unshared part
unshared part solidifies in bullets invisible like art
my art
it's all i have
it's all i have become
unshared part is highly egotistic
i cannot stay apart from my unshared part   

my therapist observes that i escape from real to imagined
while taking place in my imagination
he sits across a prayer rug from me and looks me in an eye
my eye is warming up and brims with tear
i am alone i sigh i cannot make you real

in the boat of life in the river of life life
rocks rocks in the boat of life
in the lifeboat
in the boat of rocks in the river of life life
in the blink of an eye
sinks sinks

awesome to be able and easy with group chat
awesome to be able to dissolve without a remainder
awesome to become a flood
not a part of a flow
not a particle stuck in the throat of fleeong generation
future
you are not!

where is that place where every eye long lashes
like my dear lord forever dead?
dew runs through temple dropping on the floor
the hour is late
attention's trained on error
that moon above the street that bears my address is moving in the same direction as the pupil

Today i fly over the sea too loose newfound ground
two nights high brow oversees the tear in my eye
eyes tear space apart
the sun that slapped me on one cheek has torn another face
the moon lost faze
my gaze is blazing through the sea still still
i have arived to see my past alive
my mother waits me at the door to hug her sagging shoulders
i have arrived to other self stowed frozen safely on the shelve of her refrigerator
i've got it minus future
collect the dots to trace the constellation